One for the Lads

Salutations!

I trust that you all are doing well and are behaving appropriately. (I'm metaphorically looking at you, Chris.) It is my truest delight to offer something a bit different in this post. While I am returning to the theme of music in order to force my own tastes upon your delicate palates, I am doing so in a slightly more creative way than has perhaps been accomplished previously. But, O, thou shalt never know the oppression that is inflicted upon you. You shall merely think, "Look at that, another harmless, mediocre blog post. My psyche is in no peril." Yes, your psyche is in fact in dire peril, in dire straits. For I am going to offer a salutary shout-out to each other member of the Queso Club and list a couple of songs that serve in my mind as musical representations of their being. So without further to do, let us commence! (Be sure to keep an eye out for subliminal messages.)

SweetNLowe

I start with my admired companion SweetNLowe. When I first met this stud, I was rather nauseated. We were kinda awkwardly playing FIFA together, and he kept getting mad and standing up and yelling. I was thinking throughout the experience, "This guy and I will never get along." Well, I was sorely wrong. Not as sorely wrong as when I once thought that WWE wrestling was real, but I was sorely wrong nevertheless. (You disappoint me, John Cena.) (You too, Chris; but I still love you, man; my arms are wide open.) We have shared some blissfully hilarious moments with one another and have embarked on some uncanny adventures. He has endeared himself to me through his penetrating wit and his interesting opinions, not to mention the pamphlet of things that I've said that he has apparently penned. I am one of the very few people who knows his most embarrassing moment, and harmony and contention alike within the confines of our relationship have resulted in mutual refinement, understanding, and sharpening. His memory does not pass through the hustle and bustle of my mind without inciting cheerfulness and joy. So, though more could be said, I salute you, SweetNLowe. Keep is classy, Sir. Oh, and here are some songs that remind me of you.

 (Caterwaul for ninety-nine, my green stereo pleas.)

 SpockHawk

Oh, Dear SpockHawk, where does one begin? You have always been such an influential and beloved figure in my life and in the Queso Club. When I first met you, I supposed we could get along alright, although I still thought you queer. Well, we've gotten along marvelously, and I have discovered in you a most wonderful character full of meekness, jocularity, care, and the most splendid queerness one could want in a companion. You've always been a hand of gentleness and a voice of faith. Amidst the precious memories of absurdity and downright zany encounters, there have been even more precious moments of unspoken understanding and instant empathy in which a single word or a meeting of the eyes establishes beyond doubt a tender connection between hearts of a common disposition. It is these moments that forever ground my admiration and prayer for your personhood. No truer friend could one find, though one may search o'er many mountains and many seas. If nothing else can be properly expressed, may it suffice to say that the Queso Club would not be here in all its glory without your initiation and overall purpose in life. Cheers to you, Bro. Here are some jams. 

(Candy-Canes evacuate the veranda of the Prince.)

HoneyBagel

First of all, let's not forget that positively hilarious moment at TLC when the name HoneyBagel was coined. I believe that was originally some sort of 1-10 involving Julio Olivieres. Anyways, that was a golden moment that had a whole table of groggy guys in a fit of undignified chuckling. Point to you, my good man, point to you. I didn't really have any negative reaction to you initially. You were just a nice enough little lad with unruly hair and dorky glasses. But you have become so much more. You have matured greatly in thought, in faith over the years that I have known you and have inspired me to be more kindly and good-natured towards people. You have a brilliant knack for impeccable humor and for bringing people together in good cheer, not to mention those break-dance moves you've been working on. (Just one word of advice on that matter: don't forget to tuck in those glutes when you go for the double-overhand-fisherman's-bird-glove maneuver on ice. I once deflated my left side for lack of such prudence. Always the left...) I delight in sharing ideas with you, in rambling about good music, and in sharing personal precepts of faith and daring dreams for the future. I so admire your good heart, your honest and solemn reverence, and your cheer which expresses your love for those around you. Dream on, HoneyBagel, and keep it fresh and fluffy. Now, songs for you!

(Beef stew is on the rise, I hear from tubby plywood.)

Well, there ya go, folks. As you have surely deduced, this blog, this enterprise, is manned by only the most capable, accomplished scholars and statesmen. They are dear companions and dearer brothers of the faith. This post is a salute to them. FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK, WE SALUTE YOU!!! Shalom and Godspeed! 

Superbly,

SmoothJazz

(SAVE THE WHALES!) 

Melodious Music

Salutations, random stranger! I am one day behind the deadline. Please forgive me.

Anyway, today, I wanted to talk about something that affects us all in life: music. I'm sure those of you who have read previous posts now that I'm very passionate about music, and it's true. Music is an active force in my life. I love listening to music, playing music, writing music, etc. I love the whole lot of it. To me, there is something musical in everybody. We all something that can drive us musically. Some of us are natural born singers (not me). Some of use love learning how to play different musical instruments, whether it be the piccolo or the guitar. Some of use love just sitting down and listening to it. Why is that though? Why do people feel so connected to music? I've got some ideas.

Like I said, people feel connected to music. This could be because the lyrics have a special meaning to them, or they really dig the instrumental patterns and solos, but no matter what, they feel connected. Now, you know this blog is very Christ focused, so I'm exploring this with a Christian mindset. I think people are so connected to music because it connects use to God. Besides prayer, music is a tool God lays out in the Bible to help connect us to him and minister to others. But why? Once again, let's dive in. 

In Psalm 95:1, it says " Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord. Let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation." Even back in the days of King David, people used music to connect to God. I used this to say this is not a new concept. God intended for us to feel his presence. There is a reason so many people love the book of Psalms. In it, David and other prophets and ministers paint a picture of different emotions through music. Emotions of love, sorrow, anger, and many more are all present. No matter what emotion though, the use it to worship God. So, like I said, it appears to be God's intent for us to worship through music. 

Also, God wanted us to minister through others using music. In Ephesians 5:19, it says "Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Sing make music in your heart to God." It says very plainly at the beginning to use music to uplift others. Minister to others using music. I don't have much to say about this. My creative juices are zapped. Anyway, while writing this, I've decided to share three or four songs each post for you guys to check out. It may be a gospel song, a rock song, or some king of mixture of the two. Either way, I hope you find encouragement in the songs I post. Some will be heavy songs, others lighthearted. Here are the first few. 

- "Sing and Be Happy" 

A classic hymn. It has a good message. Sometimes, it is best to just throw down your anxieties and and praise God. This is best quality performance I could find of this, too. 

- "Let It Rain" by Eric Clapton

Eric Clapton was a genius. 

- "My Sweet Lord" by George Harrison 

While this song isn't about God and the Christian faith, I can't help but think of Him when I here it. Just ignore the whole "Krishna" part. 

Freshly yours,
Honeybagel

Manifesto of SmoothJazz

Hey! I hope that you are all doing well. Just so you know, the last topic isn't posted yet because our dear friend SweetNLowe has been busy lately, but I'll go ahead with my turn anyways. As a disclosure to this post, let me say that I am going to express aspects of my faith and assert truth claims about God, about people, and about the world. I ask for your sincere respect, and I will exercise the boldest humility I can muster. If we can agree on a mutually self-critical dialogue over issues that aren't going to be decisively resolved, then we can bless each other, refine our philosophies, and maybe even change our mind on matters of utmost importance. That is what I ask, and I trust that you will follow through so long as I fulfill my part of the agreement.

My Manifesto of Faith (SmoothJazz)

It may have occurred to you by now that I am a Christian. And it has certainly occurred to me that Jesus of Nazareth is the Christ, the King, and my personal Savior and Friend. With that announced forthright, I reckon I'll use this opportunity to explain how this is so, and what it means for me. So, without further to do, let us commence!

I come from a home of two parents and multiple older siblings. My parents are both professing Christians, although my father has gone through bouts of depression and anxiety in which he ceased to participate in the local Church. He came from a poor family with 11 children, and my mother comes from a smaller family with only two sisters. They were both raised to live by Biblical values. However, my mother has the more mature faith, as she has come to ask questions in order to understand what God is really like, what the world is really like, and what the scriptures are really trying to say. My father, on the other hand, possesses a faith that is largely uncritical and inactive. They have both influenced me in in positive and negative ways, creating boons to my faith as well as obstacles. However, as my faith is really due to my own experiences, their influence is limited.

As a young child, I had my tantrums, of course, but I behaved well overall and gained a reputation as a goody-two-shoes. By observing the praise and validation that I received by being someone who listened, helped, and worked studiously, I began to become self-righteous, and as that trend progressed, my very identity was secured by being a "good boy" and by performing tasks with near perfection. This, however, was destined to culminate in my earliest life crisis.

Around the age of ten-twelve, the age at which a child develops the cognitive faculties required to think abstractly and morally, I began to struggle more and more with the fact that I was not perfect and wholly good, as I tried so hard to be. This created an identity crisis, as I lost my only self-definition. This was further exacerbated by the dark, disordered passions that I was beginning to experience, partly due to the influence of some neighborhood boys, who were older than me, and of course puberty. These passions included most notably rage, pride, and sexual lust. Thus, my life was dichotomous. There was the perfect me that I still acted out despite its clear falsity, and there was the rebellious, angry, and wicked me that began to capture the heart of who I really was. Amidst this all, there was a feeling of suffocation, as I felt the goodness and purity deserting my inner life, which was being overrun by pride and hate, hate towards many people, although self-hate was the source of most of it. More and more I felt the darkness within and the terrible suffering of knowing my own inability to change the course that my life had taken. The best I could possibly do was to return to sinful self-righteousness, which had started the whole damned process. 

During this time, I remember being isolated at home, doing schoolwork and living in superficial happiness that would regularly be broken by intense remorse, shame, hate, and mourning. Many were the nights that I cried myself to sleep. However, the positive of this experience was that I began to really look for existential answers for the first time in my life. Originally, I tried every method under my power to make something of myself that I could respect and still call "righteous" in an effort to save face. Eventually, I began to think about all that stuff that I'd been told in Church all of my life. I began to listen to the sermons, even to sing some of the songs. In so doing, it occurred to me that my ultimate well-being didn't rely on my being perfectly good by my own efforts. WHAT A RELIEF. I heard about what Jesus had done to offer His righteousness to helpless sinners like me. WHAT A REVELATION. The more I thought about these things, the more I became convicted that He was the only way to redeem my pitiful life- so pitiful, in fact, that He loved it so triumphantly. Nonetheless, Satan still had a hold on me through the sin in my life, and I was still tormented, not quite able to make the step, the step which seemed like stepping off of the highest cliff, surely to the result of losing the life I had, not knowing that anything else was truly available. However, I continued to wrestle, and I finally talked to my parents, barely able to communicate over the wrenching of my heart and the tears of my eyes. I told my parents about my sins, and they told me about forgiveness. That Sunday night I was baptized, and everything changed. 

Or did it? I was on a high for several days, and life seemed so full of new light that pierced my tired soul with beams of uncontrollable joy. Yet, my daily life was still just as much bound up in sinful habits and anger and hate and lust. I continued to live with these things and found myself often discouraged. At this point I didn't even have any friends to go to with these struggles. However, after some time I got involved with the youth group of the local Church. It was among these new companions that I set my face to heaven and determined to allow myself to allow God to change my life in all the small ways that mattered so much, one little thing one day at a time. 

I would read scripture everyday and meditate on certain practical instructions to the end of intentionally following through in my life, particularly in my strained relationships with my siblings. It was the hardest thing I have even undertaken and currently undertake. I was daily reminded of my weakness and the embedded selfishness in my heart, but God's grace was always with me. 

This would be my path for the following years, although their were certainly some detours through various valleys. I gradually began to desire a faith that went deeper than simply focusing of God's grace and trying to do better. I started to study my Bible seriously and to talk with a good friend of mine about theological interpretations of the Word. This continued for a while, and was accelerated to a magnificent degree when I discovered my unquenchable thirst for Christian literature. I began reading book after book that challenged my narrow worldview and refined my self-understanding, especially in relation to God Himself. I also became a big fan of Christian apologetic. (I have since taken a step back from any simplistic attempts to "prove Christianity.")

Through short mission trips and other experiences with the youth group, I began to realize the missionary aspect inherent in the Christian faith, as well as the communal aspect, and I made several friends for life, including the spectacular young lady who is the object of all of the love songs that I have shared on here. I have found brothers and sisters in whom I can confide the worst parts of me, and I have been liberated accordingly. I continue to submit to God, His liberation, and His plan of redemption of which He invites me to participate. I have become much more open minded and critical of Christian faith, while also more sure and convicted of the Lordship of Jesus Christ. I have also been gladly challenged by responding to the ideas of New Atheists, behaviorists, postmodernists, and so on. All of their ideas have been a pleasure to understand as best as I can, and I can confidently say that new tools for a life of ministry and holy service have been discovered. I have especially become espoused to the idea of theology as a metadiscourse that integrates other narratives into a holistic system of faith that relies on Christian beliefs for ultimate explanation and meaning. Most importantly, I ask God everyday to show me how to love as He loves. I really feel like I am coming into my own, and that God is making me who He intends, in spite of my persistent selfishness and rebellion. PRAISE YHWH. 

Anyways, that's about all I can say right now. My personal evolution continues, and I look forward in confidence to what He will show me through the blessings and trials that await me in life, Lord willing. I hope that my story has come across clearly, and I hope that you may be spurred to thought about your own position in life. God bless you, even if you don't know Him. In fact, may He bless you with revelation of His Holy Self. I love Him more than anything, and love you enough to earnestly desire that you all might know Him and love Him as well. He is so good. So surprising. So faithful. So gentle. So fierce. So paradoxical. So jealous. So compassionate. So Holy, Holy, Holy. If that sounds good to you, open your heart and find a Church friend or two to talk to. Peace!

Superbly,

SmoothJazz

Top Ten Underrated Led Zeppelin Songs

Happy Zeptember! As the name implies, it as a month to celebrate the music of Led Zeppelin and just how great they are. I realize I talk about them a lot, but after this, no Zeppelin posts or references on this blog until January from me.

I wanted to celebrate this somehow, but I didn't want to do the cliche "Top Ten Led Zeppelin Songs." Instead, I decided to do something a wee bit less subjective. Instead, I've decided to do the "Top Ten Underrated Led Zeppelin Songs." These are songs that I feel, despite Zep's immense popularity in the music world, just don't get enough radio play and appreciation. I don't know what to say now, so let's go!

Honorable Mentions:

"The Rain Song" 

"Dancing Days"

10. "Thank You" 

I've talked about this song in the past, And it's one the mixtape. The guitar and drums are a bit weak, but the keyboards and vocals are this song's true catch. The lyrics are down-right beautiful. It is a shame I've never heard it on the radio. 

9. "Out On The Tiles" 

I really like the guitar part on this song. And, similar to "Thank You," I've never heard it on the radio. It's sad. The entire album of Led Zeppelin III is very underrated. 

8. "We're Gonna Groove" 

I almost put this song at the top spot. And as I type this, I'm wondering why I didn't put it higher. Musically, it's not the best, but I've met "hardcore Zeppelin fans" who have never heard of this song and had no clue it existed. That is plain ol' sad. 

7. "Bron Y Aur Stomp"

This is actually SmoothJazz's favorite Zeppelin tune, and I don't blame him. This is another one that many people have never heard of, which is disappointing. It has some of the best acoustic guitar work in a song ever. 

6. "Four Sticks" 

This is a tasty jam with some mighty fine drum work. The only thing that could've made it better was if Tyrone Davis had been a co-vocalist on this track. 

5.  "Your Time Is Gonna Come" 

Not only is this a wonderful song, but it reminds me of a woman. IT'S THE DOUBLE HIT WOMBO COMBO!

4.  "The Rover"

I honestly think these next four are far superior to "Stairway to Heaven" and "Kashmir." If you have no clue what I'm talking about, people consider those two Zeppelin's best. Anyway, "The Rover" is a great song, and it is a shame it was never played live. Shows how underrated it is. 

3. "Down By The Seaside" 

A slower, but beautiful, Zeppelin song. I've actually heard this one on the radio, but it is an amazing song and deserves much more attention than it gets. All the instruments are so harmonious on this track. 

2. "Bring It On Home"

I don't know if I'll ever be able to make a "Top Ten Led Zeppelin Songs" post (too many good ones), but this has always been one of my favorites. It's hard rock at its finest and even has a little bluesy twang. I really enjoy it. 

1. "Ten Years Gone" 

I consider putting a lot of songs at number one. "Achilles Last Stand," "The Rover," "Gallows Pole," "Since I've Been Loving You." But in the long run, "Ten Years Gone" takes the cake. Just listen to it. It's beautiful. Shoutout to SmoothJazz for introducing me to this amazing song. 

Freshly yours, 

Honeybagel 

SmoothJazz Still Hasn't Acquired a Serious Taste for Smooth Jazz

Salutations!

This is SmoothJazz here, and I have come to deliver you from the winter of quesoless inactivity (which actually took place during the later half of the summer). Finally, it is the springtime of my love, and I shall kick off another semester of regular blog posts. However, a few brief updates are necessary before we jump into the present topic. 

First of all, we are washed upon a beach in Southern France after narrowly escaping the terrible tendrils of Glub-Glub. It turns out that he gradually began to resent us, since he heard of our taste for spiced octopus, and joined forces with the diabolical dugong to keep us from ever returning home. He even took up the prophecies of Chris Baxter. Yet, one day while we were forever harvesting wild strawberries in Glub-Glub's fields, we were surprised by the appearance of Sir Baxter. It turned out that he had been posing as a scarecrow in the garden all along, and he was ready to execute his plan for our escape. If only the plan was a good one. Essentially we just started running and barely made it out alive, as Glub-Glub's Maco sharks were on our tails. The last thing I remember is SweetNLowe singing Sugar Mama by Led Zeppelin with tears in his eyes as he lashed out in anguish at the salty liquid that may very well have been our grave. But, hoorah, the sharks gave up the chase and the tide carried our half-unconscious bodies to the shallows. Now we dry our clothes over an open fire, pray together, and continue our task of blogging about these adventures. By the way, we knew we were in France when the natives all retreated as soon as we positioned ourselves in their area. That's all for that update.

Secondly, we have a new post schedule that I would like to tell ya'll about. There will still be two topics a month, but each topic will consist of only one post by one of the members of the Queso Club. No longer will we all do the same topic. Make sense? It does? Well, perhaps we should revise it. Anyways, that is the plan for now. So, without further folderol, let me commence the first topic of this marvelous month of September (say that you remember)... much better that cold November rain. 

Music

This topic is a bit of a throwback to one that we did awhile back. Actually, it is pretty much the same as the olden topic, except that it is only me this time. So, if you don't know, I will simply be sharing samples of music from five groups/composers that I've been interested in lately. (Lionel Richie isn't listed, but consider him an honorable mention.)

1. Boys 2 Men 

I recently began listening to these guys, and I like their sound. Also, their songs are so emotive. I just love it, man. 

Yep.

2. Credence Clearwater Revival

I would say something, but I've already written more than I intended to in this post.

3. T. Rex

Don't even get me started. Bolan's voice is so smooth and, although they aren't on Led Zeppelin's level, the band has a great blues and rock-n-roll sound. Seriously, listen up.

4. Dire Straits

That, folks, is good stuff.

5. Iron Horse

Well, I wanted to do Led Zeppelin again, but I decided to feature a cover band. This group makes bluegrass covers of iconic rock songs, from Black Sabbath to Iron Maiden to Ozzy Osbourne to Metallica. When I first discovered this group, I was doubtful, seeing as these sorts of iconic songs are notoriously hard to cover; yet, they have earned my respect because they take these songs and gracefully translate them into exquisite bluegrass style. To give you a sense of their genius, I will give you two of my favorite covers. 

101. J. S. Bach

I couldn't resist tagging this one in here, because Bach was an amazing man and, in my opinion, the most ingenious, artful composer of music in world history, not to mention his keyboard virtuosity. So much could be said, but just listen to this.

Well, that is all I have got. I know that I wrote too much again, but please forgive me. I shall practice parsimony next time. Remember to thank God for the gift of music. Shalom!

Superbly,

SmoothJazz

I am the Walrus.

The Woman and the Wombat

HEY!

What happened?! Where am I?! Do I smell bananas?! These are the questions that niggle the confounded minds of the Queso Club. As far as we can discern, the past several weeks have passed by unnoticed while we were frozen in carbonite in some dugong's sea cavern. With each day we find more clues that slowly decipher the shrouded mysteries of that time. So far, the biggest clue is that we are currently underwater; however, since we now find ourselves in an octopus's garden, is seems that we were at some point rescued from our more sinister circumstance, one that came to require covert absquatulation. We assume that the octopus landlord, Glub-Glub, is responsible for our deliverance, but, since he can make no other sound than the occasional and endearing "glub," we are yet unconfirmed in that assumption. Our primary hope rests upon a mysterious figure called Chris Baxter. We introduced ourselves to this legend by reading ornate archaic calligraphy that we discovered impressed upon clay tablets within Lord Glub-Glub's personal treasure chest. (Perhaps he entrusted us with the tablets in order that we may interpret them for him.) Anyways, we have come to enjoy our aquatic lifestyle and to wait patiently for Baxter. In the meantime, we have decided to share this report and to include a silly short story that was written by SmoothJazz a number of years ago. Be aware that the tense, grammar, and organization of the story is flawed and not perfectly lucid. Just enjoy it for what it is. With that being disclaimed, let us commence!

NOPE 

(yes that is the original title of the story)

I was taken directly to the police station after pulling a handgun on a young woman that walked into my corner deli this afternoon. Being a slow day as usual, I was flabbergasted that a pedestrian happened to be window shopping and witness the event. I suppose it was a bit drastic on my part, but it was the only solution I could see. I wonder how that young woman is getting along. Have the police already located her in some other market or at her place of living? Will she tell them the whole story? What will the inquirers think? Will they believe her? I cannot help but ponder these crucial issues while I recline in a creaky wooden chair that’s hampered to the hard, cold floor of the interrogation room.

I have to say that I quite enjoyed the short trip across town in the back of the squad car. I was, however, saddened that the two officers who removed me from my place of business would not turn on the siren when I asked them too. At least the officers were nice enough to take it easy when I posed no resistance to the arrest. They were surprised when I gladly confirmed the witness’ story that, as I was told, was reported only half an hour earlier. I couldn’t shake the feeling that they found me to be odd.

Once at the station-or “downtown” as I often hear in movies-the same two officers escorted me to a holding area and retreated behind a steel door. I took a seat between two others, a bulky man with a scar above his left eye and tattoos on his arms and a brittle woman with tattered clothes and mangy hair. My introduction was met with scowls, and the man spat at me. I was glad to have made some new friends. I wonder if they would testify for me. I don’t think the case will be taken that far though.

One of the officers returned a few minutes later and, interrupting my game of duck/duck/goose with my new friends, led me down a new corridor. This corridor was lined with identical barred doors and was harshly lit by swaying ceiling lamps. We entered this barren box and I sat down in this chair, looking across a metallic table surface at the officer who remained standing in front of the door. I was just about to ask him if he was a wombat when he spoke.

“Mr. Cuttingham, do you know why you are here? Do you understand that you have broken federal law by threatening that young woman?”

“I have not forgotten pulling my gun on that young lady,” I say in response, “but I believe that I have done the right thing. If the government wants to disagree then so be it. By the way, sir, are you or have you ever been a wombat?”

“What do you mean the right thing? You have just admitted the threatening a young woman with a handgun in your deli! We even have a witness! Actually, I’m half wombat.”

“I said ‘young lady,’ did I not? I don’t think you comprehend my motives. It was for the common good, I assure you that. As for the witness, he/she was not in my shop at the time and does not understand either. He/she was only window shopping. Me too! However it was my father that was the wombat. My mother says I’m just like him.”

“Frankly, I think you’re a right prat. I must leave to attend to other matters. You are to remain seated until given permission. If you desire to make one and only one phone call you may. I trust that this whole deal will be sorted out soon enough. Your father must have been one unique fellow.”

“I do not desire to make a phone call at this time. He still is. His sixty-fifth birthday is Tuesday at 11:44 AM.”

“I’ll send a card. I hope he likes monkeys with goggle eyes.”

I watched him leave, locking the door behind him. I sat transfixed, waiting. I did not have to wait long. The other officer that was in the squad car gave the door a clanging rap and informed me that the young lady had arrived at the station. I look forward to seeing her again. She was exceptionally nice last time I saw her. I hope the police believe her. I don’t think they feel too sure about my account.

I figured she would be questioned separately, but after a while the door opened and she stepped in, smiling, followed by the half wombat. The half wombat had a stubborn, disbelieving look on his face. He also didn’t take too kindly to me thinking that out loud. After both entered the room the young woman took a seat across the table, slouching happily into a chair similar to mine. The half wombat kept a close eye on me to make sure I didn’t attempt to attack the young woman. He still doesn’t understand the situation.

I half expected the half wombat to say something funny, but no such joke came. Instead the young woman broke the silence.

“Hello, Mr. Cuttingham. I had a few nibbles of that roast beef before this lot showed up at my house,” she says, indicating the half wombat, “It was delightful.”

“Thank you, dear. All my life I’ve been able to roast beef, but I have yet to pee soup. Say, did you know that the officer watching us is a half wombat?”

“That’s enough about my ancestry!” exclaims the half wombat. “I want to know why you threatened this young woman.”

“Would you care to explain, young woman. I’ve had enough of this guy for a while,” I say.

“Sure,” she says, “I went into the store for a drink of water, but Mr. Cuttingham took care of the problem.”

The half wombat stood rigid in profound surprise then said, “You had the hiccups.”

                                                                                                                                                                   

Well, there ya go folks. Who would've anticipated that ending? I know that I did, because I wrote it. I hope that you have enjoyed this, and we will try to get the blog up and running again sometime soon. I know that you can't wait. If you in fact can wait, then you ought to get that checked out. Shalom!

Superbly,

SmoothJazz

Groovy Verses

Alright, so you guys got the idea of it, so I won't waste too much time on introductions. As Smooth Jazz stated, we have been busy with the mixtape, but we finished it today! *high five* It's expected drop date is July 18th, but that is very tentative and can change. We'll keep you posted. Moving on to my favorite verses.

Isaiah 53: 4-6 (NIV)

4. Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering

yet we consider him punished by God

stricken by him and afflicted. 

5. But he was pierced for our transgressions, 

he was crushed for our iniquities; 

the punishment that brought us peace was on him 

and by his wounds we are healed 

6. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, 

each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him 

the inequity of us all.

Wow. That is some powerful stuff. I've read that passage many times, but it never manages to take my breath away. There is so much I like about, but I'm going to specifically hit on two points. First of all, it was one of the many prophecies in Isaiah predicting Jesus' cruxifixction. It specifically hits on the points of him dying for us. It reminds that in our on darkness and suffering, we were/are able to find hope and peace. Verse five really hits the nail on the head with that one. While I like this whole passage, verso five is probably my favorite. Anyway, that's really all I've got today. I'd love to go more into why I like it, but I can't. 

Freshly yours,

Honeybagel 

RIP Satoru Iwata

We'll miss you. Thanks for the childhood. 

Splendid Sacred Scriptures and Constant Crazy Cognitions

Salutations, friends! It's been some time since I contributed to this post. Many of us here at the Queso Club have been relatively busy, and that is why we are starting this session's topic on the last day of the session. Due to such circumstances, we have decided to have a fairly brief topic for this go around. We will simply share one verse/passage from the Bible that means a lot to us and also describe a certain line of reasoning that we often catch ourselves exploring. Without further confession or contrivance, let us commence!

James 1:19-21

"So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; 20 for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

21 Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls." (NKJV)

It has been said, and rightly so, that the letter of James is very much similar to a practical sort of tract. Having just five short chapters and addressing a diverse array of issues in the Christian life, I think that it is a part of the Holy Word that is very helpful for young Christians (that is, those who have recently given themselves to the Lord). I first became attached to this letter around the time of my baptism, and it meant so very much to me in the early days of my walk with Jesus, not to say that it doesn't still mean much to me. Having consecrated my life and everything that I have to Him, I felt fresh and new, but also a little bit lost, because I knew that, although I was saved, there were many things within myself that did not meet the standard of Christ. Therefore, the practical instruction of this letter was a massive inspiration, encouragement, and guide to me in those days. I would read passages from the letter over and over again and just sit for several minutes at a time to soak it all in. Having dropped my sin and shame, I was ready to take on the tough challenging of changing my life day by day, small thing by small thing. One of those things that I struggled greatly with was anger. If you know me now, you know that I am rather mellow and that I hardly ever get angry at all, like ever. I can't even remember the last time I was genuinely mad at someone. But, it wasn't always like that. I used to get extremely mad at my friends, siblings, and parents for just about anything that didn't suite my fancy. This verse helped me through that by teaching me that I will never attain the the righteousness of God if I continually give in to the destructive fires of rage. Although it took a long time for me to gain self-control, I gradually achieved much improvement. In addition, I had a problem of talking too much and saying things that really shouldn't be said. Once again, if you know me now, you know that I am pretty quite, and I rarely make jokes that are crude or insulting, but it has been a long road to get to that point, and I still have a long way to go. This verse obviously applies to that as well. It taught me that listening as opposed to talking is far better for the development of a godly, righteous character, which I long to possess. Finally, this verse taught me the importance of meekness in the Christian journey. It says that we should receive with meekness the Word that is able to save our souls. I opened my eyes to the fact that meekness is instrumental to laying aside wickedness and to receiving the gift of God. So, all things considered, this section from James has been a tremendous blessing to me and my development as a disciple of Christ. Furthermore, I know that the change in my heart is due to the work of God's Spirit in my being. I would not be who I am without His grace, and I only pray that His grace may continue to abound toward us all, so that we may be transformed into the image of His glorious Son. 

Postmodern Christianity

Before you jump to conclusions, let me explain. I have done a bit of reading on postmodern theory, and it seems to me like much of what is suggested is accurate to reality. (Of course, we cannot escape our own minds, a prioris and all, to grasp the true nature of reality.) When I read essays on various philosophical topics, I am always struck by how insecure everything is. Every premise of a formal argument can be denied in one way or another, not to say that I am a skeptic, and it is clear that something must be assumed for anything to be deduced, or even induced. Our experience is influenced by an infinity of factors that are beyond our control and come with no guarantee of granting a cognitive conception of the world that is veridical. I could go on and on to state in different ways the simple assertion that "we cannot know truth about reality an sich." That is an assertion whose pull I feel to an extent. I even think that it is a Biblical idea in certain ways. After all, our minds have been darkened so that we cannot perceive the true Reality, and that necessitated the divine revelation of Jesus' life on earth, bringing to mankind the Truth, Reality, in a way that far transcends what we could ever achieve on our own. On another point, I have heard it argued well that the early Church was fairly postmodern in many philosophical respects. As long as we focus on divine revelation, realizing that, although we cannot grasp reality, Reality came to us, the Church of Christ will endure, and thrive, even in a postmodern milieu. The Word will persevere through any adversity that it encounters in any sort of worldview, because the Word is Truth and Truth is everlasting. Amen. 

Nevertheless, let me say that it is also possible that the truth behind postmodernism is limited. The God of Christianity would've created a world that is intelligible to the human mind, not ineffable. Therefore, even if the effects of the Fall have taken a toll on our ability to grasp the world outside of our minds, it seems reasonable to assume that we still have a limited ability to grasp the world that lies beyond our own minds. Of course, there are numerous aspects of the natural world that are utterly baffling, such as quantum phenomena, but that is a discussion for another time. After all, I did not intend to encode this much information. 

Anyways that's about all. I hope that you like my contribution to this topic. If you don't, you should get that checked out. Shalom!

Superbly, 

SmoothJazz

Magnanimous Mixtape Mayhem

Salutations! I hope that you are doing well. As HoneyBagel explained, we are working on producing a super fine mixtape full of some of our favorite songs, generally those that remind us of women. Seeing as HB did a swell job of explaining the basic format of the tape, I will not waste much time and jump directly into the three bonus tracks that I have selected, saying a short and sweet thing or two about the women who are associated with the songs in my cognition. Without further to do, let us commence!

1. "Good Golly Miss Molly" by Little Richard

This song is superbly rock n' roll, and I just love Little Richard's style. As far as women go, it reminds me of a young lady name Molly, a young lady who is dating a good friend of mine. Since this may sound a bit weird, let me clarify that I am not attracted to this young lady. This song pretty much only reminds me of her because she is the only Molly that I know. Nevertheless, she does seem like an admirable woman. 

2. "Bron-Y-Aur Stomp" by Led Zeppelin

This is my favorite Led Zeppelin song of all time, and it reminds me of the splendid young lady who has held my heart for over four years. This is also the woman who is connected to most of the songs from my post "The Crown of Creation." The beautiful, relaxing, giddy sound of this song brings to my mind moments of bliss in her presence and the intricate joy of her personality. Furthermore, although the song was written about Plant's dog Strider, it is easy to see how the lyrics can be applied to a damsel. 

3. "What's In A Kiss" by Gilbert O'Sullivan 

Let's see... How do I explain this one? This song doesn't remind me of any specific woman, and it is not connected to any particular interest in kisses. I merely enjoy the song and think that it is a consummate love song. Nevertheless, if I had to tie any woman to this song, it would be the same young lady that I mentioned for the previous song, for although our lips have never collided, I experience something "more than just one moment of bliss" each time I encounter her. 

So, there you go. I hope that you like my choices. (But I don't really care.) If you don't, you should get that checked out. Also, remember that these songs are not guaranteed a spot on the mixtape. Furthermore, if they are granted a spot, they may not be sung my me. 

Go forth, friends, be fruitful and multiply. Remember to love God and to love people. Peace! Shalom!

Superbly,

SmoothJazz

Announcing the Queso Club Mixtape!

We here at the Queso Club have been hard at work for the past few days. We decided to do something truly special for those of you who have been dedicated to us. We know it's a small crowd, but we appreciate nonetheless. Before I describe just what we are doing, here's a little bit of history for you. So far, our most popular topic is the songs that remind of us women. I received many comments about it in my day to day life, and it has many views as far as our blog stats go. We decided to compile all of those songs, add a few bonus tracks, and make the Queso Club Mixtape!

So far, we selected our bonus tracks, compiled a list of all the songs, and from there, we voted as to which songs should be on the mixtape. Because we're awesome, we're able to edit the songs to where it would be us singing them instead  of the original artist! Nifty! (P.S. We realize three out of the four of us have never received proper vocal training and aren't the best singers. Trust me. I set the bar for terrible as far as singing goes.)

Anyway, I'm sure you're wondering about the bonus tracks. Whatever could they be? That's why I chose this topic. Each us is going to list our three bonus tracks, and give a little insight as to why it reminds us of them. Before I start, I would like to say all three of my songs have a level of emotional attachment to them, so keep that in mind as you read it. 

3. Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen 

This song can be hard to follow lyrically because good ol' Brucey has a knack for jumbling words. Nothing against that. Personally, I'm a massive fan. Essentially, the song is about him truly confessing his love for a women named Wendy and telling her that should escape town together. Man, I wish I had Bruce's courage to go to this particular woman and tell her these things. If I knew she would say yes, I would probably do it. I would probably hold off on that "everlasting kiss" for though. Truthfully, I've had an interest (some may call it a crush, but I don't like that word) on this woman for around two years. I think she even fits most of my perfect spouse description. Anyway, I would totally beat it out of town with her. I think it would be great. Also, if I had a time machine, I would take her and some friends (looking at you, Sweet N' Low and Smooth Jazz) and go see the Bruce Springsteen 1982 Born to Run tour. It would be epic. 

2. Thank You by Led Zeppelin 

Is it possible for us to make a post without eluding to Led Zeppelin in some way or form? It makes me wonder... 

This song is both musically and lyrically a masterpiece. I can't really pick a favorite Led Zeppelin song, but this is up there.  Robert Plant (singer of Zep) wrote this song about his wife, and she was obviously a worthy muse. This song reminds me of the same women that Born to Run reminds me of. Once again, it is a confession of love to me. I held interest for two years, so if the sun indeed refuse to shine, I would probably still be smitten. Also, our kids would be geniuses. They would probably excel at everything. 

1. Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic by The Police 

I have a love/hate relationship with this song. When I discovered it reminded of this mysterious girl, it followed me around for a solid week. I couldn't get rid of it. It played twice in a playlist of around 100 songs in the span of thirty minutes with the playlist on shuffle. I respected the song because I enjoy The Police's music, but this song haunted me. That being said, this women recently sauntered into my life, and I don't know what to think about her. It's a mixture of attraction and annoyed I guess. Also, I'm annoyed by my attraction. So, I'm not sure what to do. That's why I included it on the mixtape. 

To close things out, we voted to include twenty songs out of the thirty two compiled, so these may not be on the mixtape. It's up to you to find out. Also, just because this are my picks doesn't mean I'll be singing them on the mixtape. I wouldn't want to spoil the fun of having a code name. 

Freshly yours, 

Honeybagel  

Women Are Wonderful

Alas, once again I close out this session's topic. As I'm sure you know, the topic is for and half qualities that we want our future wives to posses. Before I get into this, I would like to mention one thing. As Smooth Jazz superbly pointed out, we are a blog filled with presumptions. And while I have thought about the idea of marriage, I have also thought about the idea of not marrying at all. Living life as a bachelor and staying in a rural cottage on Mount Fuji. That doesn't mean I will. I've just thought about it. So, shall we get started? 

1. Respectful 
Like the others before me, I would like a wife who respects me and my decisions. I feel this is essential to marriage, and I have watched marriages crumble because neither of the spouses respected each other. I don't know what else to say about this, but you should look at Ephesians 5:22-24 for a little bit of insight on this one.

2. Caring a Compassionate
This one is simple enough. I want a wife who love for others shines brightly each and every day. A wife who brings a smile to my face as well as everyone else around her. I want a wife who people love to be around and has a generous attitude that is shown in her day to day life. 

3. A Good Cook
I'm not sexist. I'm old fashioned. Is it wrong I want a women who can cook a delicious meal? I don't want to have to rely on my cooking skills. That would be a disaster. 

4. Shares My Christian Beliefs
This one is a must. I want someone who loves Jesus and truly believes he died for our sins. I want someone who will marvel at the beauty of God with me and wouldn't mind studying the bible with me. I want someone who will help me raise me my children and instill Christian beliefs into our children.  Without this, tension (and probably divorce) would sure find its way into our marriage.

Half. Someone who shares my interests and loves

I put this as my half quality because this was is not a must. Although I would love to find a women who will jam out to Led Zeppelin with me or binge watch all of the Lord of the Rings (extended edition, of course) and Star Wars movies, I can understand if she doesn't like engaging in these activities. Surely we can find some activity to do together.


Before I leave, I'm going to share some of my favorite quotes that I believe reflect what I want in a women.

"Find a queen without a king, they say she plays guitar and sings..." - Led Zeppelin, "Going to California"

"I knew my wife truly loved me when she gave me her biscuit from Popeyes." - A very wise and respectful man

Alas, this topic is now closed.

Freshly yours,
Honeybagel
























RIP LEEEEEEROOOOOOY JEEEENKINS!  
A true hero.... He died too young... *sob*

What Am I Looking For?

Whenever this session's topic was proposed, I must admit, it caught me rather off guard. I suppose what I look for in a wife is something I am always thinking about, but at the same time, I never really think about it. It is tough. A large amount of thought was provoked by this question. And on top of the fact that the question itself is enough to send one's brain scrambling, four and a half examples? What? What is a half characteristic? It was a genius topic. One that truly stimulates the brain in many ways. I like it. Anyhow, I will now allow you all to join me on an adventure through the mysterious and treacherous landscape of my mind. Fasten your seat belts...

The First Characteristic that I look for in a potential spouse would have to be a girl that I can have fun with. I mean, I want my wife to be a lass that I can be myself around and have a good time with. A girl who always brings a smile to my face and that I can always rely on to brighten my day is one of my fantasies. I love a gal who is spontaneous and has an unquenchable thirst for adventure, a lively maiden with a gamesome spirit and who is always high-spirited, a woman who will keep me on my toes and loves to laugh, that is the kind of girl for me. If I'm going to get hitched, I am going to strive to make the relationship exciting and filled with joy, and I hope that my spouse does the same. If I were to be in a relationship and it wasn't exciting, I would consider the relationship an all-around disaster, and both myself and my partner would have failed each other. That at least, is my humble thought on the matter.

The Second Characteristic that makes a girl stand out above the rest in my mind is a girl who is competitive. A girl with a competitive spirit mesmerizes my soul. Whenever I see a girl with the fire of competition burning in her eyes, a fire burns in my heart. True story. I attribute that to the fact that I myself can be pretty competitive at times, and my wife and I would have to be the greatest tag-team duo of all time. That after all, is the end-game, correct? This one is pretty important to me. Whenever I see a girl, or anyone for that matter, who has poor sportsmanship and really doesn't care about the game. That is a turn off. It really does kill the mood, and in some cases it does infuriate me. I try to avoid those people. Some people won't understand that, but those are normally the people who aren't really competitive. I don't expect those people to understand.

The Third Characteristic that came to mind whenever I was thinking of what I look for in a potential bride and mate, was the ability to care for and be comfortable around children. Whenever I see a girl making a small child or infant smile or giggle or if a babe is talking about her mad skills babysitting, she immediately begins to glow with a most holy shine. A woman with a maternal instinct is always a plus. After all, your spouse is the woman who will bear your children (if you plan to have them). I plan on having kids, and I want a wife who will be a good mother to my children. I am not the best when it comes to kiddos, so having a wife with that as a strong suit would definitely be a good thing. That being said, I don't want a spouse who will pamper my children to the point that they become spoiled and disrespectful. Which brings me to my Fourth Characteristic...

The Fourth Characteristic, which may be one of the most vital of them all, is a respectful attitude. Respect is vital to any successful relationship, be it a friendship, a partnership, and most of all a marriage. A girl who has respect for others, be it her parents, a waiter/waitress, her peers, or anyone at all is like the sun, simply the brightest celestial being of them all, outshining all of the rest. Respect is like an oil which lubricates the gears of a clock, without it the gears would grind and cause friction resulting in the destruction of the machine. Without respect, a relationship can not survive. It, like the clock, will have such an internal conflict that it stops functioning at all. Mutual respect among a couple is extremely important, and that is why whenever I see a respectful young lady, I am quite smitten. Truth. They are hard to find, but they, like the majestic and illusive Bigfoot, do indeed exist.

Finally, The Half Characteristic that I must list is a British Accent. I say this is a half characteristic because, half of the time I think that girls with British Accents are extremely attractive, but the other half of the time I think they are simply the most annoying ever. It is an internal conflict that I struggle with from time to time.

Anyhow, that concludes my list. Thank you for tolerating my rambling.

Until Next Time,
SweetnLowe signing off!

The Mysterious Marvels of Magnanimous Matrimony

This session's marvelous topic is "4 and 1/2 qualities that we would like our future spouses to have." I'm not particularly espoused to this topic, but I'll do my best to keep it nuptial. That is my vow to you, home slice. So, without further messing about, let' us commence! Here are the four (and 1/2) preeminent qualities of Je... I mean, of my future spouse.

But wait, watch this first:

Alright, now we may proceed. 

1. Must be sweeter than honey.

2. Willing to rebut her man.

• Nothing is worse than a significant other who is so intent on pleasing you that they don't hold you to a high standard. Since I desire a woman whom I can respect, love, and cherish, that woman must be willing to call me out when I am in the wrong. This is most important when it comes to matters of morality. As a Christian, the goal of every relationship is to support one another and to push the other toward a closer walk with God, living in His will and loving Him more each day. True, nagging is generally not a positive, but I need a woman whose loyalty to me is not the highest in her life. She must be loyal to the Lord and to a life of moral acuity, righteousness, and good works (Hebrews 10:24). In the end, this may not be a big deal because, once the deal has been sealed, women generally have no problem pointing out their husband's flaws. Nonetheless, I'm looking for an upright, honorable woman who will challenge me with a high standard of treatment for her and for all other people, a standard that will spur me on to a life full of service and selflessness, a life of true love and compassion. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Ain't nothing better than a woman with scruples. 

3. Cooking skills.

• Call me sexist if you want, but it would be really nice to have a wife who can cook well, preferably in Southern style. Mhm, poke salad. There are many qualities that may initially seem more important, but in the long run, having a honey-pookie-pie who can cook will pay off much more than most others. However, I am certainly willing to compromise on this one. After all, I actually sort of enjoy cooking myself (I do not mean preparing myself as food) and would not mind doing so for a household. Also, even if a young lady isn't a world-class chef, almost anyone can learn to get by pretty well. All ya gotta do is use plenty of SweetNLowe and have fresh HoneyBagels in the morning. 

4. A balance of intellect and appreciation of silliness. 

• While I don't think of myself as anything like an intellectual giant, I like to question, know, read, discuss, and think critically about concepts and intellectual positions. I like to read philosophy (love of wisdom) and theology and to develop my own conceptions of reality, God, beauty, sin, etc. Furthermore, I cannot stand most television and cinema, because I am hypercritical of every idea that is presented to me, rapidly considering the biases present, the implicit implications, and how the idea stands against an orthodox Christian meta-narrative. In such a condition, I am somewhat disturbed by individuals who can amuse themselves with richly biased and profoundly, stupidly shallow television shows and other sorts of media. I want a companion who is critical, yet tolerant, of ideas, a companion that reads, a companion that I can sit with and discuss matters of philosophy and theology with, a companion who knows things and can engage in intelligent dialogue. Even while I am relatively unlearned, my studies and personal thoughts have tended to make me feel disconnected. I don't often find people who are prepared to talk about the issues that occupy my thoughts, and I absolutely relish every second of dialogue that I participate in with a sharp, yet humble, intellect. Nothing could be better than chillin' in a hot tub with my pretty little hog-stump and philosophizing about archetypes, causation in the sui generis creator-creation relationship, the nature of time, etc. (Note: I do not mean to imply by all this that women tend to not be thoughtful people. On the contrary, women are usually more thoughtful than men, and that is something that I find pleasant in them. Nevertheless, in our contemporary situation, most critical thought, which is partly inherent in the human, is stymied by a shallow consumer culture that requires conformity and unwitting participation in the institutionalized cultural geist and procedure. As a Christian, I want a woman whose allegiance belongs to God and who will consequently exercise critical and deep thought regarding the culture and the multiplicity of worldviews that vie for dominance over the lives of humans.).
• On the other hand, I am devoted to the art of punmanship, and I reserve a good deal of my mind for the cultivation and digestion of absurd ridiculousness. I have an odd sense of humor, and I would like a woman who appreciates and engages it, or at least endures it.  She must be willing to forgive (a lot) my tendency to listen poorly and to instead make puns connected to everything she ever says, or everything we ever experience together. So, yeah, sense of humor is pretty important.

1/2. M s  b  f r i i g. 

• I m k  m s a e  r t e  f e u n l  a d, b f r  I b g n d t n  a l d  I w l  i e a e t i  p e i e: I a  d m  a d I w l  d  d m  t i g  , s m t m s n t o t o  i n c n  m t v s, s  I h m l  a k t a  y u m g a i o s y p r o  m  w o s, a d I v w t  a w y  a k o l d e w a  I' e d n  a d t  m k  t e a p o r a e c a g s. I l v y u, b b. Y u  b  m  g c i m l n. F r i e e s i  e s n i l t  e e y g o  r l t o s i , f r p o l  a e n t p r e t. S r o s y, f r a y n  t  p t u  w t  m , t e 'v  g t a b  f r i i g a d f r e t n .T i  i  w i d, s  I'  j s  g n a w i e a f w m r  r n o  t i g . T i  i  p e t  c o  t o g . A y a , y a , I w n  a w m n t  b  a t t  b t f r i i g. A s , s e m s  b  w l i g t  p r o  m  e a e c n  e f u i m. F n l y, a n'  n t i g b t e  t a  a w m n w t  s r p e . I w l  a s  b  f r i i g t w r  h r. P a e!

Well, there ya go, folks. Those were four and 1/2 qualities that I would like for my future spouse to possess, although I most want a woman who knows how to be herself. I hope you agree or at least get what I mean. If you don't you should definitely get that checked out. 

Before I end this contribution let me briefly address one more thing. There are a lot of presuppositions contained in this blog, and this session is not an exception. We will presuppose our future marriages, our future attitudes and preferences, and aspects of future people. So, let me insist that I am not entirely comfortable with assuming that I will achieve a state of nuptiality. There is certainly no necessary need to be married. Much Christian tradition, while acknowledging the sanctity of marriage, affirms the superiority of a single life (1 Corinthians 7). Yes, I do think that I will get married, but I do not rule out singularity. It is a valid option that deserves some consideration. In fact, I sometimes think I'd be better suited for it. Anyways, I just wanted to put that out there, floating like an awkward silence. See ya later, you wonderful person. Shalom! 

Superbly,

SmoothJazz