How to Conquer in a Christian University (or If Ducks Could Fly)

Salutations! I hope that you are all faring exceptionally well, my dearest well-farers. It is my pleasure to again pry open the ancient vaulted doors of this blog's crippled communication. I toss my crowbar behind me into the dust and watch, rigid and transfixed, as the dilapidated but dignified doors divulge to me long-hidden mysteries, carefully concealed and collected over the course of the blog's communication cessation. This succulent, silly sepulcher--which had become quite dirty and dank, by the way--of superb, nay sublime, solace and satisfaction sighs with the suggestions of simply sensational subjects supremely saintly and surely worthy of serving as sentinels to secure the succession of blog posts. I therefore scratch my nose, think about lunch and that one dude I met last Thursday, pick something out of my teeth, adjust my socks, sing a few lines from classic Italian operas, and enter the honorable hollow of hilarity that has been hiding within our hearts all along. Walking past several pillars of old crates and barrels, I casually brush off grime and observe the titles: "Women and Music," "Music and Women," "Led Zeppelin and Women," "Women and Women," "Led Zeppelin and Music," "Led Zeppelin, Led Zeppelin and Led Zeppelin," "Something Boring from SmoothJazz," "5 Reasons Your Pants Aren't Hip," "Tired of Buttermilk: Mooslick Quakzilli is Here to Help," "Zelda's 'Holy Dorito' Confirms Illuminate," "Embarrassing Stories," "Untitled," etc. With so many original and potentially world-changing ideas stored within this voluminous vault, I know I must choose the most vivacious of all for this particular post, as a means of jump-starting this ole jalopy of a blog. So, I choose to write about something that is about to become intensely relevant to some very good friends of mine: surviving life at a Christian university and thriving all the while. As someone entering his third year of full time education at a Christian University, I have a few insights and tips that I would like to share, although my experience is very limited, in some areas more than others. Anyhow, without further rigmarole, let us commence!


Know Where Your Classes are Before the First Day, and Be Early for Every Class.

I recommend visiting the campus and locating each of your classrooms so that you can strategically plot out your daily trajectory to maximize efficiency. Also, it is important to be early so that you can choose good seats in your classrooms. Several studies have shown that the most productive students tend to sit either on the front row or in a line from front to back in the middle of the classroom. Trust me; it helps. Also consider where the best bathrooms are located on campus and incorporate those into your daily trajectory so you can establish certain regular bathroom visits during the course of your day.

Work Harder in the Classes that Do Not Interest You in the Slightest.

Every semester you will have at least one class that becomes an unbearable annoyance, not because of the amount of work involved, but because of how uninteresting the material is to you. Do not live with that burden. Discipline yourself to invest time and mental energy in that class. Personal investment is the best way to make a dead-boring class come alive to you. If you don't do this, you will have a worse semester for it and probably get a bad grade in the class.

Get to Know Your Professors.

Though it can be intimidating at times, getting to know your professors is an investment that reaps a myriad of blessings. It will help you from getting frustrated in their class, make that class more interesting, increase your enthusiasm for the subject material, and supply you with some wonderful mentors. Most teachers are actually quite gentle and understanding if you decide to relate to them as persons instead of scary test-giving machines. Also, once you have a relationship with them, it is much more comfortable to come to them with questions and concerns regarding their classes.

Everyone Else is as Insecure, Lonely, and Nervous as You Are.

I technically can't affirm that the above statement is true. But it is good to remember that you are not the only one who encounters struggles, disappointments, and self-doubt whilst making your way through college life. If you let those things isolate you, they will only grow and ruin many positive opportunities for you. But if you relate to other people who, although they seem to have it all together, are going through the same trials, you will experience wonderful support and community among your collegiate peers. And never forget to laugh when things get ridiculous.

Experiment in All Things, but Always be Yourself (Who You are in Christ).

This is going to be a great and exciting time to experiment and try new things. You should set about, in a sincere search for truth grounded in the Truth, to reexamine your life, your interests, your beliefs, your relationships, and your potentials. Learn about lots of things and do not limit yourself beyond reason, but never feel like you have to do what others are doing. You are not them. You are unique and beloved by God, with unique interests and potential that should be uniquely utilized in His holy service. I particularly suggest spending time in different social circles and finding clubs and student organizations that orient social activities around service projects, spiritual growth, and social justice activism (*cough* HUmanity).

Put Academics First (after God).

In college, you will find that there are many different things that all vie for your precious time. If you let a lot of these things distract you from doing the best you can in your academic endeavors, you will end up making things a lot harder on yourself. However, if you consistently dedicate the time to take care of academics first--and to do them well--you will do yourself a big favor and find that you still have some time left for other sorts of things.

Finally, do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God (Philippians 4:6). 

Let's be honest, freshman year can seem ominous, but it's really gonna be pretty great. There is really not much to worry about, and when we do worry, we have a God who listens and understands. Things will be a bit challenging, but God will not give you more than you can handle. I can testify to that for sure. When that first day comes, you will find yourself around a lot of surprisingly nice, attractive people who walk around with you to some pretty cool classes and who become brothers and sisters throughout your time at your respective Christian University. So, don't sweat it. I know that my advice is certainly not the best, but its what I can offer right now. In addition, if you happen to be homeschooled, you might need this:

Have fun storming the castle, argue for the "sloppy wet kiss," and avoid all things hipster, trendy sandals, hammocks, inordinate amounts of coffee, and all the other ridiculous things that weird people do in college. And enjoy being surrounded by attractive, friendly Christian peers for four years! Peace!

Superbly,
SmoothJazz

Actually love and enjoy chapel. It is a blessing to worship.