THE NARNIX

Legendary Love-Child of the Mythical Phoenix and the Majestic Narwhal    

           The Narnix, or Igniscornu Volanceti is the most majestic genetic masterpiece. It is a practically a flying whale with an eight foot horn coming out of its head which is constantly on fire. It lives off of a variety of foods. It can eat crustaceans or baby seals, sharks or swimsuit models, eagles or unlicensed pilots, sharks or hippies, etc. It is the Furious Pete of Flying Aquatic Mammals; meaning, it will eat just about anything. I mean this thing is more majestic than Puff the Magic Dragon, Falcor, Moby Dick, and Dragonair put together. I feel like explaining the majestic mastery of the Narnix is just ridiculous, because the Narnix speaks for itself. You can't hate the Narnix. 

           Narnix sightings are rare and few; meaning, I am lucky to know what this bad boy looks like. Recorded sightings are as follows:

• Ireland, 1849. Drunken potato farmers claimed that a Narnix drank all of the potato vodka and proceeded to burn down The Lopsided Lighthouse Inn and Tavern in Adare town in Limerick county on October 16th. 

• New York, 1969. In Bethel, New York on Max Yasgur's 600 acre dairy farm in the Catskills near the hamlet of White Lake in Sullivan County on the fateful night of August 17, 1969 at midnight, the crowds attending a certain festival at the farm claim to have witnessed a Narnix fly in from the heavens and jam with Jimi Hendrix in the greatest performance of "All Along the Watchtower" known to man.

• Budapest, 1982. Details are sketchy. Long story short, ferderal agents claim to have been attacked by a Narnix, E.T. , and the ghost of Harriet Tubman. There were no survivors to confirm the incident.

• New Orleans, 2006. It was a late night. Me and a couple of my chums were spending a night on the town. We had a couple of drinks and we decided to go to an underground party. The music was good and the ladies were fun, but then, at 7:06 on the 6th of June, a Narnix appeared from a fissure in the ground which rent the ground beneath Helen Hunt who proceeded to fall off of the face of the earth. Then, the Narnix impaled some guy named Gary and burned the house down. True Story.

As you can see, Narnix is real! And he is awesome! To give you a better knowledge of what the legendary Narnix looks like, I created a rough image of what he looks like.

NAILED IT.




TRUE STORY.




THAT'S ALL FOR ME.





SweetnLowe SIGNING OFF.